Who We Are

The Real Running Friends is a group of Berkshire County runners who, despite having varied backgrounds, have somehow found eachother. You may find me referring to this group less formally as the Crazy Running Group. I'll leave that story for someone else to tell; they were crazy long before I came along.

I was standing naked in the shower this morning, picking pieces of sock and other detritus from my toenails when I had an epiphany! I've lived right here in Berkshire County, USA for over six years now and have, until today, been unable to figure out what the hell is wrong with everyone. I was thinking up humorous ways to describe the people in the Crazy Running Group when it dawned on me that this group is the running analog to the movie/book Fight Club. Instead of bloody knuckles and black eyes you'll find bruised egos, broken bones and emotional scarring so thick it shows through the skin.

In one scene in the movie they were threatening to remove the testicles of an older gentleman in the men's room of a fancy restaurant as Brad Pitt narrated. He spoke over the scene describing how they were the people who "mow your lawns, cook your food, drive your cabs, wash your clothes", etc. This scene really made me think, and as I was removing a hunk of lint from my blackened toenail it dawned on me that what was wrong with Berkshire County as a whole was not that our taxes were too high, our stores too ghetto or our homes too quaint. It was something more fundamental; that people from the Crazy Running Group are in influential positions. We have parents, nurses, teachers, highschool coaches, doctors, business owners (including a liquor store, the heathens), nuclear submarine engineers, and so on as card carrying members. Jeez, announce one well-organized trail run outside the county and lock the gate behind these delinquents. And do it on a Sunday when they should be in church anyway just to really drive the point home.

So anyone wishing to be notified of future runs should contact Theresa (I won't publish her e-mail address here) to be added to the list. Should you later decide that this was all a big mistake you will continue to receive e-mails on an hourly basis regarding people you don't know and topics that seem insane. Your best bet is to not let anyone know where you live, see what you drive or find your phone number until you're certain you can tolerate this bunch. And for God's sake, if you live near a trail keep your mouth shut unless you want to be awakened at 6:30 in the morning by muddy people banging on the door demanding coffee, Diet Pepsi and donuts, and fouling up your plumbing with reckless abandon.

Did I miss anything?

-Judge Sunshiney Ass